Let Us

We can speak without saying anything. Listen to me. Look into my eyes and listen. Do you hear that? I’m screaming out the truth so you can finally understand what you need to know. Even in the dark our eyes search and find. Hands clasped in the darkness. I can feel your pulse race. I can feel your smile dance across your face. Would this truth kill the light if spoken out loud? Would you be surprised to find that in these moments entangled in each other I’ve found freedom? You pulled and pulled while I pushed and pushed and now here we are wrapped in heady silence that threatens to kill me. If I whispered would I steal your breath away? Would you grasp for oxygen with your hands that are tangled up in mine? Would the truth coat your lungs like thick black smoke and leave you coughing to expel it? Or, would it be the breath you need to finally dive deep into this partnership of hearts? Would we sink into ecstatic bliss they write about in the songs that make me think of you? Oh my dear silly little boy oh that you knew you were. You speak yet say nothing, what of that? Your eyes discourse and I will answer. I slip into Shakespeare so easily when you are around. Let us not be star crossed lovers that rip apart the hearts of young girls while they read our tale. Let this not be a story that I read on rain soaked nights and memorize the words. Let this be the song that pulls the lyrics from my lips before I even know the chords. The melody that lulls me to sleep on countless nights no longer alone in my bed or in my heart. Oh just listen to the truth that seeps from my eyes like tears on the night I thought you were abandoning me. I’m screaming to you. I’m pleading with you. Let me stand close to you and hint at truths with my vocabulary I’ve saved just for you. Do you know? Oh god I think you know. Tell me you know so that I can finally say it out loud. No more beseeching with my eyes. No more key strokes with words I’ll never let you see. Let me say it. Let you read it. Let us feel it. Let me, let you, let us. 

An Abyss of Unspoken Truths

The ghost ship slips slowly through the river. If not for its lights it would not exist on this cold northern night. The river ripples softly reacting to the intrusion. Everything remains silent. The stars sparkle in pity for the girl on the banks. They see it all. They know it all. Here she is with words unspoken on her lips and a year of regret to reflect upon. If not for the sound of the breath that shakes she would not exist on this sad northern shore. The moon looks down upon the scene and wonders if the girl that basks in his glow will ever learn to glow for herself. It knows her greatest secret. The truth locked in her heart refusing to part from her lips. The moon knows her greatest fear. Another denial to the life she longs to live. He’s watched her push and pull the silly boy who might be crazy enough to save her. She silently counts the minutes off her life as she takes another drag from the things she was supposed to give up. She’s a paradox of life. Refusing to hold what will save her and failing to reject the things that kill her. She denies herself no punishment for the crimes of which she continuously charges herself with. Much like the moon and stars that look upon her, she would be nothing if she did not shine. Shine upon her people that look at her in wonder. How can she, much like a star, shine so bright yet stay so far away? How can she, much like the moon, push and pull the tides of others while never showing her entire being? The aves of the river avoid her bench. They smell the toxins that seep from her pores. She will ruin them just as she has ruined herself. She takes the beautiful and the bold and breaks their wings so that they may not fly above her wall and enter her garden of forget me nots. She saw a chance for salvation from herself and with her fear and aggression she pushed it far away. Silly boy, had forgotten that he must bring a shield into this battle. The ghost ship slips slowly around the bend. If not for the sound of the water falling into the rocks one would not know it had ever been. The stars dim in frustration for the girl that had prayed for their guidance. No star, no compass can guide the one who’s truly lost. On the banks of this sad northern shore she whispers bated apologies the hero does not want to hear. The moon looks down and sighs for the girl who compared her love to him. Her greatest secret sinks into the river. An abyss of unspoken truths that she can never tell.